The Monkey and The Stoner

I tend to believe in a universal energy.  And you might think, “gee, it’s a good thing you aren’t vague in your grand thoughts about life.”

But check it out.

I think that if you are a positive person and commit yourself to what you want and believe in, the universe will reward you.

And okay, maybe it won’t literally shower you with chocolate and strippers, as most of us imagine would be the case, but it will send other things of (nearly) equal value.

But honestly, I don’t think it’s necessarily that more good things happen to good people.  Logically, I think that positive, happy people will simply be able to observe the good things in life more often than those who roll around in dumpsters all day.

That… was a terrible analogy.  And dumpster diving is actually a noble art, usually reserved for the most elitist of any giving society, so it didn’t even make sense.  It goes: Polo, early 18^th century wine tasting (for the kiddies), pin the diamond-embroidered tail on the golden statue of your father’s first stallion (for adults), and then dumpster diving.

But for real here.  If you’re pissy all the time you’re gonna recognize every instance that you hit a red light.  And probably get more pissy.  And probably curse a lot and throw the bird to the innocent guy rockin out to Sublime in the car next to you.  But he doesn’t care.  You know why?  Well he’s probably high as a kite and doesn’t know where he is, but also he isn’t focusing on all the negatives life has to offer.  Like the uptight jerk-wad in the Prius next to him flipping him off.  He hit the same red light you did, but he doesn’t focus on red lights.  He focuses on green lights.  Every time he gets a green he smiles, and every time he gets a red he doesn’t lose his shit.

And every time he gets a blue he makes a mental note to take it easy on the hash tomorrow.

And every time he makes a mental note it disappears forever fifteen seconds later.

The point here, ignoring all previous digressions, is that we all have a choice in how to view the world.  Maybe the road-raged ass monkey and the stoner weren’t the best opposing examples… but that’s what you get.

That sounds like the title to a really inappropriate children’s book.